A Prelude to Conference

So for those among the Mormon queer population, General Conference is coming up. I thought that I should prepare for what might come up and since I hadn’t seen the last one I decided to listen to it. My reaction? Other than a few talks in the beginning I was super disappointed.

I had previously heard on Tumblr and Facebook about Elder Oaks's talk and how hard it was to hear for queer people, and especially those a part of the trans community. Honestly, before I listened to it I wasn’t sure what to think. But once I did I knew exactly what people were talking about.

Personally, I didn’t care for either of his talks and felt that they each had such a narrow-minded view of what life is actually like for some people. And you know what? It isn’t just because I’m a lesbian asexual that I have problems with him. I was talking to my family about him, not even mentioning the whole LGBTQ topics, and they didn’t agree with him either. And they’re pretty against anything LGBTQ.. Even though it wasn’t the LGBTQ topics that they had issues with, it was still comforting to know that just because someone is in a position of authority in the Church, doesn’t mean that they are completely infallible.

I feel so bad for the people whole know someone, especially in their family. These people completely ignore everything but what those people in authority say even though the way it’s said can completely disregard the way the Jesus acted. It really makes me wonder if these people honestly think that Jesus didn’t hang out with queer people, didn’t love them just as much as straight people. So I figured I’d go over each of the topics that I didn’t agree with and go from there.

1. Gender is eternal and Satan is just trying to distort it.

I have trans friends and some that identify as agender or nonbinary and I love them so very much. I honestly think that there is so much truth to what they’re saying; biologically they might be male of female. But genitalia shouldn’t be what determines gender. And who knows? Maybe in the next life they’ll be the ones that are right and they’ll be so much more blessed for enduring all that they had to from the majority of society. Everything that we have to show what God says has been changed and polluted by whatever the people of the time thought were right, so why should we take that as complete gospel? I don’t. The Bible and all is inspired, don’t get me wrong; but inspired does not mean perfect.

2. Marriage can only be between man and a woman.

I do not agree that God thinks that anyone who is gay, bi, or whatever should just be alone for their entire lives. We’re human. Humans were never meant to live their lives alone. The Church can at least agree with that. The whole we were families in heaven and so we have family here as well. In my opinion, love is love. It’s something that people spend their whole lives searching for, so why should anyone have the gall to say it’s only for some and not for others? To me, that is so elitist. Those who have found it within themselves to make room for another person, to want to make that person happy even if they have to make sacrifices in the process, to be able to love that person enough that you’re willing to commit to a lifetime in their presence, then more power to you. Some people never get that so those who do are some of the luckiest people in the world.

3. Anyone who seeks to confuse gender, to distort marriage, and to discourage childbearing is in league with Satan because that is his plan.

Well, if you’re purely going by what the dude says, I’m in league with Satan in that I support my LGBTQ people, I support gay/trans/ace/aro marriage and I don’t think having children is for everybody.some people should not have children. My mother was a good example of that. Loved her kids for about the first two weeks and then abandoned them when the going got tough. Not once. Not twice. Seven times. Children are a lifetime commitment, much like marriage. Some people don’t have it in them. I personally don’t feel the need to get married at all, but I still plan on having children. Marriage and children shouldn’t be the goal that every person is striving for. It’s not the end all be all. People can live happy and fulfilling lives without a spouse or child and I continue to support that.

I don’t know where my membership in the church will as I get older. There are a great many things that I don’t agree with, maybe in part because I am romantically attracted to women and asexual. I stay in a family ward and don’t go to church with the YSA. I’m not interested in playing a part there of looking for someone to date. I don’t want to hurt anybody or possibly get someone in trouble. I mean, could you imagine the scandal of being with a girl at a BYU YSA ward? Goodness!

Recently my attraction to somebody was returned, but the relationship that we had was much more of an emotionally intimate relationship than a physical one. I never kissed her, even though I really wanted to. But it was enough to be near her and to spend time with her.

So to all my LGBTQ humans, you are loved, you are accepted, and you are treasured.

#acceptance #relationships #mormonism