I'm Coming out! (Maybe. At least on here)

So lately I’ve been really delving into what I think my romantic orientation really is and I think I’ve come to a couple conclusions. One, orientations of any type are a lot more fluid than most people might think. Another is the disconnect that I sometimes feel between me and other members of the LGBT community. Our stories and identities are all so different that it’s easy to have misconceptions about people in our own community. I’ve identified for a while as aromantic because I honestly felt like that described me most. But now I’m not so sure. For the last few months there’s been a girl that I’ve really liked and because of this I had come to the conclusion that I could entertain having a relationship more than friends with her.. For me, this is huge. I’ve never experienced romantic attraction before now so it was something that I had to work through to wrap my head around.

I feel like there are members of the queer community who haven’t become entirely comfortable with their sexual r romantic orientation. And this is something that I’ve been able to relate to a lot lately. Whether it’s because of family or whatever, it’s a strange thing to accept your orientation but still not be entirely comfortable with it.

Being asexual I feel is a bit different than other categories of individuals within LGBT. maybe because others are more easily seen than others. By this I mean that a trans person or other non-cis people people are further to the front of the LGBT community than asexuality. They have more to deal with in term of phobic actions towards them and discrimination that those who are less visually obvious don’t have to.

Hopefully, that wasn’t offensive. My reasoning for this was the experiences that I’ve had with family. They have always been extremely against anything that is related to the queer community, and a couple times, for some reason, they have felt the need to actually tell someone how wrong they are for believing that they’ve been born into the wrong body. “God doesn’t make mistakes” tends to be the top argument, though it tends to be followed by “Why should we have to accept who you think you are, when you couldn’t accept yourself?” Look at me and you won’t automatically think that I’m LGBT. Therefore, I don’t have to deal with what trans people do on a daily basis. They have a strength that I'll never know.

But back to the topic at hand.

Lately I’ve been thinking more and more about biromantisism. These last few weeks I’ve been going through what I consider to be romantic attraction and what that means for my identification. There’s a guy I work with that I like a lot, but I’m not sure yet if it reaches my definition of romantic attraction. I’ve only experienced this twice so my idea of it is still evolving. But these discoveries do make me want to explore more and I’m excited to see what the future might hold.

So my identity as asexual is as strong as ever. Romantically, I’m evolving. And it’s okay. Who knows what the future holds in store right now. Gay asexual or bi ace, I’d be comfortable with either.

#asexuality #acceptance #romanticorientation